i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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