I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize