I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
