Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
