Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
