ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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