I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
