Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
