Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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