i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
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You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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