laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Dick very happy bro
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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