"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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