i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
