he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
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i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
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I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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