haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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