Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
