I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
