i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize