Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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