I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
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I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
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I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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