I showed him my bush... on skype.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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