You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
