Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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