im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize