clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My vagina is very pro this idea
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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