happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
