Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
