brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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