I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize