you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
