I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Randomize
