This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize