? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
it glows. i had to have it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
