What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
