i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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