I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My vagina just recognized that song.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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