at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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