we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
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Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
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i've created a new STD.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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