he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize