bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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