We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
