dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
