do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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