I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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