I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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