so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize