Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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