Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
high people should be assigned attendants
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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