Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
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made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
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I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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