I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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