"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
