? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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