try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
